Festival season is upon us. Who was at Forbidden Fruit last week? Or maybe you’re attending Marley Mark or Electric Picnic? If you are an avid ‘Festival Go-er’ then you may be familiar with some of these scenarios indeed.
10 things we’ve all said/done at an irish festival.
1) ‘Oh God, The Smell!!!!’
You will utter these words in disgust at least 3-4 times over the course of a festival. Let’s face it, they’re smelly places to be. From the portaloo, to the tent and the sweaty crowd. There’s not much room to breathe. Girls will be spritzing themselves into oblivion (I’ve even sneakily spritzed a few people from behind in a crowd). Our lungs will find new levels of strength with ‘breath holding tactics’ a deep-sea diver would be proud of whilst using the portaloo.
2) ‘Sorry, No bottle caps!’
When did the young generation start becoming animals and throwing full bottles on to the stage? Why did they have to ruin it for the rest of us? We now have to carry our full, open, hangover bottles of coke around a pushy crowd with the cap off because ‘Johnny-Trouble-Maker’ wants to injure Brandon Flowers for no good reason. (Sneaky tip: Bring your own bottle cap from home and sneak into your handbag for use after the over assertive food-cart teller has confiscated yours)
3) There will ALWAYS be that one friend who got so drunk on the first night that he/she sleeps through the entire festival. Things got a little over-excited that by the time the music starts they’re already passed out in their tent. Happy out for the rest of us, it means we don’t need to worry about leaving our tents unsupervised as we now have a permanent, albeit, drunken mess of a security guard.
4) ‘Ole Ole Ole Ole’
No matter who the headliner is at a festival, they MUST be subjected to Ireland’s very own 1990 football anthem sung by the crowd. Who cares that it’s completely irrelevant? Who cares that it is sang more at concerts than football matches these days? You’ve not witnessed an Irish festival at its finest til you’ve seen Snoop Dogg swaying on stage draped in an Irish flag singing ‘We’re all part of Jackies Army’ for 20 minutes straight!!!
5) The mud fights
So Coachella has its blue sunny skies and blazing heat, Oxegen has had its inevitable rain clouds. And with that comes – The mud! How fun for us. I’ve never understood its appeal myself, but there will always be crowds of silly people rolling around in it like a kid seeing snow for the first time. What do they do when they go back to their tent i ask?!
6) The sneaking of the cans
And so begins our predicament of trying to get alcohol into the venue without the bouncer noticing. ‘What’s that bouncer? No my bra just happens to be in the shape of two bulmers-sized cylinders’, ‘Those aren’t cans down the back of my wellies, they’re orthopedic leg braces’. ‘Do you like my new nagin belt?’.
We never get away with it but by god will we try.
7) The people who are there ‘for the craic’
There will always be groups of people attending who are there for purely the session and not for the music. Festivals have evolved into fashion/social events in recent years and aren’t JUST about the music anymore, so you will find that there is a mix of attendees. People now use them as a ‘weekend away’ or an excuse to party with their friends for a few days. The hardcore music-lovers will moan about this fact but hey, as long as live music is being supported it shouldn’t matter who is there right?
8) Wishing we could dress like we’re at Coachella
We blame the media for this one. We are bombarded with snaps of all the beautiful Californians who flock to Coachella every April. As it is the first of the Summer festivals, the style generally influences the rest of the festival season. However us Irish ladies need to accept the fact that hot pants and crop tops we are not. Wellies and Rain coats we are. It’s hard to dress like our celeb style inspirations but many of us manage to incorporate the ‘Californian look’ to suit our weather-beaten festivals. Shorts with tights, or maxi dresses with wellies. Mix it up a bit and find that balance. It’s what makes an Irish festival stand out!!
9) The long walk back to find the tent
You thought you were smart and hung a flag out of your tent so you could find it easily that night. Turns out everyone had the same idea too. And suddenly a 15 minute walk turns into an orienteering course as you wade through mini villages of tents and passed out punters trying to remember your spot. Disaster.
10) The fact that you will moan about all these things but do it all again next year
All of these are con’s to the pro’s, but the pro’s win every time right? Sure it’s all about the craic in the end and no matter how much we moan and groan the entire time, we will still go back next year and do it all again.
