Lets face it girls, there are quite a number of us who at once stage or another, have been broken up with by a new boyfriend out of the blue! Being dumped sucks!! It’s humiliating, it hurts and it’s confusing! One minute we’re on top of the world, been seeing this guy for a few weeks/months, and the next thing, like a kick in the teeth, our potential long-term boyfriend decides enough is enough!
So many things run through our minds, we try and find a reason as to why this happened. And alot of the time we blame ourselves. “Is it because of that time I went away with the girls and missed his football match?” “Is it because I got really drunk at his mate’s 30th?” “Is it because I changed my hair colour?” You know what, I’m not going to lie, maybe some of the reasons you come up with could have been a contributing factor, as petty as it sounds! But the bottom line is, for whatever reason, this man decided that he was not feeling your relationship, and finished it. It could be because he is only out of a long-term relationship and feels like he doesn’t want to get into another one so soon, it could be because he’s being selfish and all he wants from you is a booty call and you’re being too full-on, or it could be because he plain just does not feel the same way about you as you do about him! The reasons are countless, and chances are he himself may not even be able to pin-point exactly why he’s not feeling too keen.
For example, take poor old Mel B! She had been gushing in many an interview about her new beau, actor Eddie Murphy. Their whirlwind romance quickly blossomed, with the pair discussing marriage plans and Murphy saying he was “madly in love” with the ex-Spice Girl. They even had reportedly gotten matching tattoos, and she was delighted to announce that they were expecting a baby! Within a matter of days, in an interview for Dutch magazine programme RTL Boulevard, Eddie was asked how he felt about Mel’s pregnancy. He replied: “You’re being presumptuous, because we’re not together any more and I don’t know whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions, sir.” The poor girl! She was not only left feeling humiliated, but pregnant with this man’s child! DNA tests later confirmed that Mel’s daughter, Angel Iris, was indeed Eddie’s offspring.
I personally believe that there is no point trying to analyse the pieces and go over every little detail of the time you spent together! This is torturous and painful for you, and probably a bit for your friends also who are looking out for you and hate seeing you upset. Even if you do come up with a reason that you are sure of, what’s done is done and the past can’t be changed. Chances are that one or 2 little incidents are not going to be the deciding factor, and none of us can control what goes on in a man’s head.
It’s important to look at the situation as a bigger picture. You believed that this guy was something special, you thought this was going to be a long-term thing, and you even imagined your wedding day and what your kids would look like! (Come on girls, we’ve all done it! ) But the fact of the matter is that now this will not happen. He finished your relationship as he did not feel the same way. So in looking at this in the bigger picture, would you really want to be emotionally, legally and financially committed to someone who does not mirror your feelings?
Life is all about trial and error, and if it didn’t work with one guy, as hard as that may be at the time, this leaves your situation wide open to meet someone new. Our Mel is now happily married to producer Stephen Belafonte and pregnant again!
There has never been a better time to be single, we no longer feel pressurised to be settled down with a husband by the age of 25! Have fun, meet new guys and go on as many dates as possible! When you meet someone who feels for you as you feel for him, he will let you know. If you feel things aren’t going well, then chances are they probably aren’t! We have alot more sense deep down than we realise, and our instincts are usually right.
And most importantly of all, stay strong!!!! Don’t feel that the world is over just cos some guy dumped you, it just means that your story is now starting again fresh!
Read my previous article on dating here: http://sosueme.ie/relationships-love/an-irish-girls-outlook-on-dating/