A very close friend of mine- Kathleen McRory is also an avid blogger and after she sent me this write up.. I just had to post it to my blog (asking her of course)!
Its all about secrets- keeping them, telling them, choosing to forget them..each to their own! I just love her take on secrets and how real she makes it sound and I know many of you can relate to it, I certainly can.
Kathleen also refers to the POST SECRET blogger- Frank Warren an absolute legend and a blog I read on a daily basis… So Sue Me has also wrote about him before… Here’s the link:
Now here is Kathleen’s write up,
Enjoy, Sue xx
I’m now lying in bed thinking about everything and anything one might think of. You wouldn’t believe what I’ve come up with!
But top of my list is secrets….
Things we carry around for days, weeks, months, years, lifetimes. For whatever reason it’s human nature to guard ourselves, protect ourselves, protect the people we love. To store away acts, thoughts, wants and needs..desires, faults, admissions of guilt from those around us. Some secrets are explosive and dangerous and some are just the little idiosyncrasies that make us who we are and that we really don’t need to share with the world. Some secrets are not ours to share. Some secrets are revealed to hurt, to shock. Some are revealed to help and to heal. Some are never revealed in order to survive.
For years I’ve been obsessed with Postsecret, the Frank Warren blog where people’s secrets are posted online every week. People who have written their innermost thoughts, fears, shames, loves on a postcard and sent it to Copperhead Road in order to unburden themselves or others. Some of them are funny, some are weird, haunting, scary, heartbreaking or menacing. I love them because they are honest and real. I love them because they are completely human in the simplest way a thing can be. They come from the hearts and minds of people who just need to get something off their chest no matter how big or small the thing is! I’ve often read them and realized some of them are similar if not the same as my secrets.
But secrets are destructive and I think the thing I love most about the blog is that for the people who have posted in their secrets they have now been set free. They can’t be hurt by their secrets anymore. That’s what makes it so appealing to me.
So secrets: the kind you keep because if you share them then they could hurt you, hurt someone you love. The kind you keep because you own it and you don’t want anyone else to own it too. If you share it then it won’t hold as much fun as it once did. Secrets you keep because you’ve been asked by someone not to repeat it. Secrets you keep because you know nobody would understand it if you told them. Secrets that damage, secrets that make things better, more adventurous, worth it. Secrets that can’t be told because to say them out loud would rip you apart and make something horrible too real. Secrets you just can’t explain in words.
We keep these things locked away and I wonder if by doing that we add extra pressure, pain and tension. I also wonder that by keeping certain secrets do we add a hint of excitement and pleasure to something that would be pretty dull if everyone knew about it!
And then you have the shared secrets… you have to love the shared secret! You tell someone you trust and then you both share the burden of it, or the joy of it! I read somewhere that men won’t share their secrets with their friends, they would rather tell a stranger. Women on the other hand will tell their tried and tested friends whom they trust beyond all things. Men won’t risk appearing weak to their friends by having this secret, this thing that can be used against them by a trusted friend. This thing that has the power to betray them. Woman don’t think that way..we share and relate, it’s in our nature. So a secret shared, a secret halved.
Secrets buried in your family, secrets between sisters, friends, lovers…When you’re little you’re told never to keep secrets and rightly so. But there comes a time in your life when you have something and you have got to hold it close to your chest. Something no one can see, no one can know about because that will alter it. I wonder if these secrets are the ruination of some people?
Anyway that’s where my train of thought took me today. I love and hate secrets. Equally. And I don’t think i’m alone in that.
The question is this, what do you do when the secret is keeping you?