The dance-floor of a nightclub becomes a pretty interesting place after 1am. Drinks have well and truly been flowing, inhibitions are let go, people begin to behave a little, well … differently.
Here are 5 types of people you are likely to encounter on the dance-floor.
1) De Girlzz
There will always, without fail, be several groups of girls on a dance-floor. Of course. It’s Saturday night, you’ve been working hard all week, Girls just wanna have fun right?
They will form a large circle or cluster and dance closely together warding off any potential approaches from drunk men. In fact, men will be too scared to even attempt approaching. Beyonce will come on and their hands fly into the air with everyone screaming similtaneously. It is always ‘their song’. Other characteristics of this group will include handbags on the floor, possibly one crying girl and copious dance-floor selfies.
2) The Lurkers
You’re minding your own business dancing away to Rihanna when you feel it. Another body grinding up behind you. Why? Why do they do it? The lurkers. Do they really think rubbing their crotch off your behind is going to drive us to a romantic embrace where we live happily ever after?
You turn around to confront said lurker and he’s there with an unnecessary proud smile. He’s delighted you’ve acknowledged his unwanted and perverted invasion of personal space. What happens next is you will either be swept away and rescued by your circle of friends (see above) or You will join in and embark on a creepy dance off until you freak him out and he goes away.
3) The lads
As with groups of girls, there will inevitably be groups of lads. They will be in 3’s and 4’s standing awkwardly at the sides of the dance floor pints in hand. One of them might attempt to dance but will always be the idiot (and later on become the ‘lurker’ of the group). The poor sods generally look like they don’t know what they’re doing and even though they’re not dancing they won’t leave that space.
4) The ‘Professional Dancer’
I think we all believe ourselves to be professional dancers when we’ve had one too many cosmopolitans, but some of us take it too far. Watching a music video a handful of times now constitutes as a dance lesson and you suddenly know ‘all the moves’. How many people have you witnessed doing Beyonces ‘surfboard’? And let’s not forget the classics. ‘Thriller’, ‘The Macarena’, ‘Backstreets Back’ – oh yes, the whole routine has been broken out before hasn’t it? Usually on a dance floor that really doesn’t have the space for your flailing arms and attempted break-dancing. Just stop.
5) The ‘Judgers’
Too cool for school. The judgers are the ones observing all of the above mentioned and grimacing in horror. They won’t divulge in too much dancing themselves apart from the odd spin around and bum wiggle. They’ll usually hang out in VIP sections or DJ boxes watching the crowds but secretly wishing they could join in and make fools of themselves too.
So which group do YOU fall into?
(imagesources:sircharles,dailymail,dcclubbing,hfboards,rounds)
